clarification.

fair warning: this will be jumbled and less than coherent.

as i go back and read some of my brief list of entries, i realize that i might be coming off as a miserable person or as a lunatic, i can't decide which, since it's exceedingly difficult to be objective here. all of this blather about stuff. my stuff and junk... i'm not miserable. trust me.

it has always been easy for me to write about bad times, unhappiness, longing, bla, etc... and i'm sure that i'm not alone in that boat so this is just a transfer station of the feelings and thoughts that are the easiest for me to express in typewritten form.

i lack many things, not the least of which is typing skills.

and i am no good with self-assessment. things about me are very distorted to me, and there is no way to explain that, i don't even understand myself most of the time. half of the time i try to find things that can make me feel like i'm not crazy. i.e. 'see, that guy just scratched his ass and then bit the nails of the same hand, i'm not crazy enough to do that.' or: 'it's ok, i'm sure lots of people wonder if the guy inside the alf suit still gets residuals...'

i just want to let anyone who might stumble across this know that i'm pretty content and happy most of the time, i just dwell on things, and things that bother me, tend to bother me for years at a time. i have to say that before i lose sight of my purpose for writing this.

my birthday is sunday.