"settle into the comfort of being friends"

...or not.

experience the unsettling suspicion seeping back to the surface. i, for one, thought it was gone, that i could rest easy, that the coast was clear to evacuate the trenches, that i could be secure in the notion that i am enough.

i am not.

only kidding myself.

defeated.

i am not The One.

all the fingers you have the nerve to point...

turn to daggers jumping back at your magnetic personality. blood runs cold and black and clotted.

i know i'm unhealthy, never honest with myself, never comfortable with my position, but now i know that it's for good reason.

all the doubt, i called myself crazy.

i was right and wrong.

i am no longer happy.

i do not look forward to tomorrow.

the day i never open my mouth.

i love digging up stuff dated the same day as today, with a day and month but without a year. it's highly appropriate, considering my dream last night.