the vote, as of right now, is 4 to 1 in favor of continuance.

so here i am.

when governments fear the people, there is liberty. when the people fear the government, there is tyranny.

the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

heavy is the burden that weighs upon an unrequited soul. what is the impetus deep within my savage mood swings? i can be irate and tearful and ecstatic and mournful within an intake of breath. sometimes all at once. sometimes i feel flat in the mind and others i'm a collander full of synapse.

thus far it has been sufficient for me to discuss things with myself in my head. discussion with those outside my muddled inner-consciousness and bizarre mindworld has been minimal. humor is a defense mechanism, and is cold comfort.

i'm never sure if what i write is coherent, and no one has ever accused me of being coherent, and i'm sure that i'm overanalyzing my entire reasoning for writing in the first place, and also to whom i am writing. this is not an easy process, since it is easier for everyone to smile at you and say 'good job' when you knoe that they can't wait to get your drivel off of their screen. i'm not paranoid. i mean that. someday i will larn to write with a greater sense of clarity and focus. vague doublespeak is the name of my game. to compound the situation, i've come to the realization, well more like the confirmation, that there are simply not enough hours in a day.

i am absolutely ashamed of my lack of quality proliferation of late. i can be eloquent at times and then experience droughts. i go back and read things i once wrote and it stings my brain. did that come from me? the same me that is blundering ever-so-clumsily through this unfocused diatribe? why does consistency have to be lacking in me as a trait in recent times? it might have to do with the fact that i never have the time nor the patience to explain my quick paragraphs.

i'm just lazy.

and i'm stunned that i'm the only one who voted against myself.