i would do anything to go back to that time and enjoy it more fully. go back just to say goodbye.

even the miserable times back then were wonderful, as funny as it sounds.

i'm scratching the surface, like so many times before.

this was a time when i was thoroughly dedicated to not caring about anything. i was a painfully insecure adolescent desparate to fit in somewhere, but finding severe faults in the institution i wanted to fit into. i was too insecure to attempt to change my own social climate, and as a result spent my scholastic career as an outsider, never really feeling as though i was wanted anywhere.

i have a knack for seeming in control, especially when i am anything but.

i am far more emotional than i let on; i am terrified to show it.

i am seldom honest, even with myself, about how i feel.

i am surrounded by niches i simply don't feel comfortable fitting in to.

so many parts of me are pulled in so many different directions.

my life is one big near death experience.

?