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� how strongly routine dictates �


1:08 a.m., 2003-06-26

what an elusive bastard i've become.

one day becomes the next, life becomes a cookie cutter, routine dictates.

i spend days, stripping siding to tar paper to sheathing to studs and replacing it all with new seams and new joints.

everything becomes a metaphor, everything draws meaning, routine dictates.

plumbing uncharted lines of incommunicato and writing new lines of unsatisfactory laments. i don't really touch notebooks anymore. they remind me of conscious thought and reason.

when compelled, i tear cardboard from boxes that once housed building supplies... trimcoil, fake cedar vinyl siding, certainteed architectural shingles, grace ice and water barrier. each one a new volume of recycled torn-edged pages. they look like old legal documents. they feel that way too...

distant, almost irrelevant.

to write like a reflexive byproduct of insomnia-induced waking catatonia. it's what i do. i'd say it was keeping me sane, but my mind begs to differ.

it's more of a way to herald the passing of a day, to refresh the metaphor, to recycle a line, build a new wall

as routine dictates.


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