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8:27 p.m., 2003-01-16

i like making music. last night we made it in the best way: WITH ME IN CHARGE.

no

it was great to come up with an idea finally after being so out of it musically (on the collaborative level anyway) for like 2 months. when i broke my bones i just shut that part of me off as best i could and i never thought it would be so hard to make it return. so make it i did not. i just left well enough alone and at band practice just played what songs we already have and not force something new when it just wasn't working. to regain my strength i was playing really lame acoustic garbage and sparsely recording it, much to my overwhelming dissatisfaction. rarely can i listen to myself only minutes after i make something up based solely on things in my head. it's easier with a band because you can blame the lameness on someone else. or something. what am i talking about?

so i came up with something anyway, which felt good, but almost foreign. it was like squeezing the zit of creativity within me. all that stuff (the musical pus? shit, that makes me laugh. perfectly appropriate.) is in there backed up and swollen and i know it's there and it's been bothering me to get it out, but for awhile now it hasn't been ripe enough to give it a real good going over, so i gave it a poke and it spewed forth something surprising. when i wiped it off the mirror i realized it was worth keeping.




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