how i feel more often than not is panicked or rent assunder with my physical proximity providing limitations and unrealistic notions simultaneously. something eventually will give, and when it does my entire life will undoubtedly break into large, shifting, heaving chunks. hopefully one of them will clip my head on its way down rendering me lifeless and numb for the duration of this obligatory breakdown and inevitable and impending disassembly.this is usually the case, or as far as i can tell it is since i remember little of previous episodes of life-altering tumult. whatever the case, i have that edgy sense of unease that accompanies or slightly preceeds a breach of my comfortable status-quo and alteration of its routine. this unease is slightly overshadowed however, by by the current realizations and potentialities which i am currently experiencing.

the saddest part of this entire thing is that i avoided being wordy, avoidist and vague throughout it wherever possible.