^ (n a v i g a t e) ^
9:51 p.m., 2002-10-28
you plant your inimitable style in my head and burn your eyes into mine and turn my clock back over and over and over and give me things i've not had in years and years. you terrify me in the ways that everyone yearns to be terrified and you listen to me like i am making sense.you listen to me like i make a difference.
you bring tears to my eyes and make them disappear in the perfectest ways and think.
you think like i want people to.
you hurt me in good ways and bad ways and i hurt myself the same. you laugh like you've never heard that one before.
a long time ago i made promises to myself and to others and broke them all and times like now are the reasons why. you make me sweat with my limbs asleep.
i don't go into detail about the reasons why i am as elusive as i am and i never intend to, as i have learned from so many costly mistakes. i confuse myself with my own contradictions and my confusion turns on itself. i negate having to deal with things by pretending they aren't bothering me.
they are.
you give me butterflies.
i swear to god i don't want to be in love with you.
why is everything so cut-and-dry?
in my dreams you don't touch the ground.
you make me hold my breath.
