^ (n a v i g a t e) ^
12:06 p.m., 2002-12-02
i decided that as far as medical situations go, i am heretofore acting on my own behalf. no longer will i pay hundreds of dollars for a nurse practitioner, a medical doctor and a radiologist to tell me what i already knew; to interpret my x-ray and tell me that my wrist/hand was broken. no longer will i pay the three of them each over one hundred dollars to look at an x-ray that, by this time, i am able to read and interpret on my own. here's a synopsis of an x-ray reading class in medical school: "ok kids, the black on the film is not bone. the white on the film... well, that's bone! if there are cracks in the white part and you can see black where there should be white, the bone's broken! the more black you see in the little crack in the bone, the worse off the patient is!" and putting on a fucking cast? easiest job on earth. i could do it with my eyes closed. and you don't have to pay me eighty dollars to walk in the door of my clinic. screw accreditations, i should open a clinic without any lisence and charge like five bucks to give out amoxicillin in blanket illness situations and do casts and take temperatures and give out ice packs. in triage they look at you like you're crazy when you refuse an icepack on an obviously broken and badly swollen hand, and when you refuse to have your blood pressure or temperature taken. oh god, a break from procedure! we have a rebel on our hands! no. we just have a savvy consumer. that's what it's been pared down to; instead of treating patients, they're helping consumers and delivering products. brand names. this bandage brought to you by band-aid brand, with elastic provided by dupont. will that be generic ibuprofen today or will you splurge on advil? as i know that my blood pressure is within a reasonable safety range and that i am not feverish and that you'll charge me ten dollars for that johnson & johnson crack 'n' serve ice pack, i think i'll pass on this visit thank you. oh, and expect to be treated anti-christish when you ask for all three angles of your lower arm to be fit on one x-ray film, even though they easily fit and despite the fact that the bone broken is easily visible from the same angle that it's visible from every goddamned time. the other angles are disregarded, the film provided by kodak. the radiologist undoubtedly given kickbacks for more film processed. the more the merrier.in treatment room number 4, the flecks of blood on the floor? they're brought to you by doctor sands. if you turn on the television on the wall in room number 4 (brought to you by zenith), you'll be billed, but not if you don't use the remote behind the treatment table. the more incapacitated you are, the more you pay. the bigger the space, the worse off you are.
i'd be better off going to jail and having insurance provided by the commonwealth of massachusetts. a million dollars for a heart transplant? as long as i'm on the top of the list i'm covered.
oh, that makes sense.
so, rather than go and get a cast on my broken scaphoid bone, i've altered the splint already on it so that i can move my thumb. i'll monitor my own progress and decide when i am healed. i have pictures of the alteration process, but i feel that those viewing this thing will get sickened by seeing pictures accompanying every entry. so ask and you can see.
for a price.
