it's all a part of the process of letting go. i'm coming to the realization that i have no control over my mentality beyond the point of direct momentary restraint. conditioned responses have a way of seeping through facades. it's difficult to put things into words that i've spent so long tucking away in all of these forgotten places i've pushed down below the surface. things pile up. it's like an ulcer i've ignored that has abcessed.

so for some reason today i let a little go and really tried to be just me, like the me i am when no one is looking and it worked a little. there was this little moment of clarity where the things in my mind that i wanted to hear coincided with the things going into my fingers and through the strings.

it sounds good, you should hear it.