anymore, i don't sleep. i powernap.

it seems strange to have too many thoughts to facilitate writing. i'm running low on metaphors. at this point, i'm left with raw thoughts. stripped away.

the layers of verbose defense have fallen away and things are revealing themselves to, if no one else, me. i awaken from a brief respite (of only minutes sometimes) with clarity of both thought and feeling.

focused.

lucid.

by the time my feet hit the floor an object has been vaulted into the realm of personification and has been rendered emblematic of the once-clear notion i arose embracing. your mind automatically begins to obscure things when they pose a vague threat to emotional homeostasis. my mind has been overclocked and feels so charged with thoughts that i swear that i can plug a guitar in my ear, open my mouth and have music come out.

my head has been personified (which may or may not be redundant) to resemble an amplifier. is that actually reverse personification? is there such a thing?

it's never-ending.

five seconds from when i was dreaming, the original clear, focused thought has been bastardized into some wildly vague and sketchy metaphorical anecdote and is built upon by the minute. the sooner i have the presence of mind to actually write it down the less meaningless it tends to be. this in turn tends to take away from the universally meaningful nature of a vague metaphor, but at the same time it is an attempt to make things more personal.

my mind barely functions anyway, this is just the last cycle i can hold on to.

lack of sleep casts such a strange and terrible hue over the whole situation. i begin to concentrate on things that simply aren't there or on things that are beyond inconsequential, while at the same time things that require a distinct group of thought processes are largely ignored or just repeated out of habit until forgotten and left in shocking disarray...

i've showered and completely ignored all forms of soap twice this week.

despite this fact, or perhaps because of it, showers have become wildly engrossing and interesting experiences of late.

i have not shaven in ten days. i have been meaning to do so for eight of those ten.

i have, on the other hand, changed the greeting on my newly acquired toy, a cellular phone (which is a story unto itself requiring explanation and excuses for its existance), five times in the last three days. three people have my number and none of them call me on it. this more or less sums up how things are going.

i am going quietly but most assuredly insane and my cellular phone number is 5089620124. what will the message be next?

also, barely anyone has taken my test. it's a relatively painless process and worth every second of time spent on it. i can assure you of that.