pre-pairing is no less a necessary evil as love itself. and evil it most certainly is, in its purest and most pernicious manifestation. on the verge of constant breakdown is no way for anyone to live, and yet i persist, beset upon perpetuating an inevitable heartbreak. i say inevitable with the utmost conviction as well, since there can be no doubting that, as has been demonstrated time and again in every forum and situation, emotions do not withstand time. everything has a finite lifespan, perhaps inexplicably so at times, and the gossamer nature of human sentiment is a frail, sickly platform upon which to stand to say the least. posession of this wisdom compels me to rethink my choice to enter into any and all forms of social interaction in which i participate.

but at times i still believe i can do it right, given the chance.

in times of delusion. (?)