^ (n a v i g a t e) ^
3:00 p.m., 2003-05-19
and with all this revelation. comes nothing. i'll leave with nothing because i bring nothing. i contribute nothing. it's an awful stance to assume, but what else is there? thousands of standouts cannot be wrong. legitimacy eludes me, my aversion to what i view as cultism hinders my upward mobility. not wanting to belong means you see an awful lot of backs of heads.i'll leave feeling empty, thinking of things that i never thought i'd think about. when it comes to that frightening moment of truth i know deep down what i am incapable of and i can't decide if that is something to take heart in or if it is something for which i should hate myself.
i never leave on my own terms. i know i never will. the mark of a coward.
