i'll never be that way, and today it was evident. yeah, it was. more than once.

i don't even want any of it anymore and i don't think it was ever worth most of the effort most of the time.

some people are so blind to themselves. i am nothing if not self-aware.

i don't talk myself up.

it's because i am a realist. it's not because i don't think i am good enough, it's because i know i am not good enough and although i have a hard time accepting it i still know it to be true, deep down. and someday i will be ok with that.

it's all so over and done with. i'll move on.