her house is impeccable. spotless. she is married. was married. bob died three years ago. bob, in the pictures, looks happy. i can imagine bob surrounded by satin and flowers and lead and dirt sporting an inadvertent involuntary smile. the skin around his teeth has undoubtedly begun to dry out and wither and draw back from his smile.

ann was his wife. is his wife. the pictures, the happy ones, are spotless and seem like new. they could be yesterdays pictures, freshly framed, only i know that they are at least three years old. bob died three years ago.

when ann talks about bob it is as if he is still alive, but she starts to cry before long as if she forgets and then remembers where he is.

all of bob's tools and books are in his basement workshop where they were abandoned three years ago. nothing of his has been moved. would the importance of their placement be nullified if they had been moved? would this in turn nullify bob's memory or existence? all of his possessions are where he left them. reading glasses, slippers, tv guide from 1998, toothbrush, etc.

no onew doubts that ann loved bob. loves bob.

ann is waiting to die.

she is 58 years old.

this, in my opinion, is no way to live.

if i ever get married i hope my spouse and myself die at the same time so as to avoid this very situation.