^ (n a v i g a t e) ^
12:32 a.m., 2001-05-31
i am not that person. lithe and lifeless. inspired. you don't haunt me, you become me. at night, you never pass the unblinking moon, it always follows you. my guarded inexperience has left me blankfaced. staring. you're together. you never stare. onward and upward. my idealism lies. my idealism endures. someday i will miss missing you and maybe someday i won't have to. the cycle cycles. this process is far from over. what will endure, me and my pain or you and your fear? your snakeskin sheds and you molt into a butterfly time and again. time and again i fall for the rosy waxy enticing apple poisoned with the same old deceit. veiled interest, how many times will you fake the throw at my canine faculties? your worldliness and otherworldliness grips me. i race to follow the moon; the one bright spot in the velvet night, without encouragemant or hope that it can be caught, just the knowledge that it could tire before i do. and if the radiance of your lies and the obfusciation of my idealism can be surmounted, perhaps this afternoon can salvage a modicum of dignity.
