^ (n a v i g a t e) ^
11:43 p.m., 2001-05-16
it's difficult to prevent stagnation. it's something that creeps up on you like a slow decay from within and this godforsaken season facilitates its pervasion. springtime is not a time of newness and freshness. springtime is when we get over the lousy ice-encrusted, nipple-puckering, snowed-in feeling of winter. we shake off the rheumy feeling that seeps into our limbs throughout the desolation of winter and await the building of a semi-normal existence in the summer.stagnation.
we stagnate, feign a life, look busy for a few months, and gear up for another stiffening deep freeze.
autumn.
they call autumn 'fall' because during autumn, everything carefully built up all summer falls apart.
some animals have the right idea. they practice the ultimate avoidist act: hibernation. but even they can't escape the vernal slap in the mouth. my avoidism is extending even into my writing. forget about writer's block, in the springtime i get life block. i might as well be hibernating, all fattened up on tacos and merengue and gummi frogs and zombieing my way straight on through to june.
maybe i should pretend that it already is summer and just get naked.
