i make things out of fear that i am going to die. and by going to i don't mean in a few decades. i mean at any moment. i'm afraid of being inconsequential and forgotten. it's a subconscious thing that i really can't deal with so much.

i realized tonight that it is for this same reason that i do not sleep.

all i want is for posterity to know who i was.

striking honesty such as this rarely graces the pages of this diary, so enjoy it while you can.