i decided last night that i am making an actual large-scale particle accelerator. i figure if i can dig a tunnel leading out from under my basement into the center of town that that ought to be enough space for the core of a decent superconducter and it will give me the chance to create matter. i need something to be brought up to the speed of light. i need space and time to cease to be a factor. well, space at least. really space is the issue. i've been digging since about 3am this morning and i ignored my school responsibilities.

the dreams were too good. i dreamt of instantaneous travel warps created by standing in a beam of accelerating energy. energy at the speed of light defies the constraints of space/time. it felt like a jammed roller coaster going back and forth upside down at the apex of a loop. i fell asleep without a shirt on and awoke with a cowboy shirt on and 'i need you around' stuck in my head. i awoke with a total of three songs in my head at once.

about this i am not joking.

everything is so fucked up and stupid and it is no fault but my own.

sometimes i go to sleep with no reason to wake up, but then i do anyway and the change is too vague to cheer me up.

but at least i woke up to the smell of cotton candy in my bed.